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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Trending via Reddit:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Just shared via Instagram:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Spotted on Messenger:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Making waves on X:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Trending via Facebook:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

2 months ago

0

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the classic meeting merry-go-round! 🔄🤔 It's like a never-ending cycle of let's-discuss-what-we're-going-to-discuss-next-time 😂 Maybe we should schedule a meeting to strategize how to end meetings efficiently! 🤷‍♂️ #MeetingMadness

another, conclusion, discussion, end, everything, humor, irony, meeting, meetings, needs, office, procrastination, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

0

4 weeks ago

3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, car, fear, going, hear, late, late night, me, night, night sound, road, sound, stay, staying, staying up late, where
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

0

2 months ago

bacon, dollar, every, fat, food, humor, i, ID, just, me, money, self-deprecation, someone, spend, spending, time
When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

0

4 months ago

coffee, coffee cup, cup, daily, daily life, dishwasher, humor, just, life, open, parent, routine, skincare, skincare routine, steam
Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

0

2 months ago

activity, bad, bed, break, breaking, Breaking Bad, couple, date, fun, fun activity, humor, idea, watch
“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

0

2 months ago

advice, expert, God, humor, i, sarcasm, seek, self-confidence, self-talk, talking, wit, yourself
Math is like Chinese to me.

0

2 months ago

Chinese, confusion, education, humor, language, math, me, perception

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Reddit this month:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

85 shares on WeChat this month:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,940

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Seen just now on Threads:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Going bananas on Threads:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Breaking via Slack:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Making waves on WeChat:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Just shared via TikTok:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Just landed via Messenger:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Trending via Facebook:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

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