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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Making waves on Telegram:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about aging, highlighting humor in back pain and age differences.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of back pain vs. youthful spirit! 🤣💪 Who needs a chronological age when your back has its own agenda, am I right? Here's to defying gravity and never growing old in spirit – even if our backs beg to differ! 🙃👴 #ForeverYoungAtHeart"

age, back, body, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, perspective, same, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

47 shares on X this month:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

24 shares on X this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

62 shares on Threads this month:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

14 shares on Discord this month:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

77 shares on Discord this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

First responders? You mean reply guys?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Spotted on YouTube:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Making waves on Instagram:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Trending via Slack:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Seen just now on X:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Trending via Twitch:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

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