Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Just shared via Twitch:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Breaking via Reddit:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Going viral on Discord:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Breaking via Reddit:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Trending via Instagram:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

2 months ago

0

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of back pain vs. youthful spirit! 🤣💪 Who needs a chronological age when your back has its own agenda, am I right? Here's to defying gravity and never growing old in spirit – even if our backs beg to differ! 🙃👴 #ForeverYoungAtHeart"

age, back, body, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, perspective, same, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

0

2 months ago

able, adulthood, being, breakfast, choices, cooky, doing, eat, eating, humor, irony, responsibility
This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

0

2 months ago

December, fastest, history, humor, time
Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

0

2 months ago

fat, food, making, me, stop
I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

0

2 months ago

brag, forgetfulness, humor, i, joke, memory, room, self-deprecation, walking, want
If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

0

2 months ago

dating, dating show, device, entertainment, estimate, estimation, exaggeration, humor, medical, medical device sales, number, only, people, population, reality, reality TV, sales, satire, show, shows, states, TV, us, US population, work
Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

0

4 months ago

40, age, age range, app, dating, dating app, drinking, fight, fighting, grape, humor, over, range, set, while, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

13 shares on X this month:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,931

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Seen just now on Discord:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Trending via TikTok:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Live now on Facebook:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Breaking via Facebook:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Just shared via Instagram:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

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