Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Just shared via X:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Just shared via Threads:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Going viral on Reddit:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Just shared via Twitch:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

2 months ago

0

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of back pain vs. youthful spirit! 🤣💪 Who needs a chronological age when your back has its own agenda, am I right? Here's to defying gravity and never growing old in spirit – even if our backs beg to differ! 🙃👴 #ForeverYoungAtHeart"

age, back, body, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, perspective, same, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

0

2 months ago

always, book, cleverness, dog, dog ear, ear, facade, humor, irony, keep, know, literary, nightstand, people, perception, read, reading, think
Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

0

2 months ago

aging, getting, getting older, humor, moan, older, sexy
Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

0

2 months ago

activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, frustration, golf, humor, joke, just, leisure, old, old people, people, routine, shit, sick, something, whack
I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

0

2 months ago

activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, fun, fun activity, humor, hunt, i, keys, late, me, myself, procrastination, punctuality, put, routine, same, spot, treasure, treasure hunt, why
When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

0

2 months ago

humor, i, me, million, response, ridiculous, saved, saving, say, someone, something, standing, want, wheelchair
You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

0

5 months ago

ever, funny observation, game, gaming, guys, hallucination, hours, humor, long play, observation, play, sound, sounds, start, straight, video, video game

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Freshly posted on X:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Going viral on Facebook:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Just landed via Telegram:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴