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Parenting: where exhaustion and the dwindling will to live are a package deal! 🤣💤 It's all fun and games until you realize you've been surviving on coffee and sheer determination. 😅 #ParentingLife

being, comedy, exhausted, exhaustion, family, fatigue, favorite, humor, live, losing, parenting, struggle, time, will to live

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

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2 months ago

affection, date, ear, getting, intimacy, kisses, neck, slow, soft, tried, whispers
“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

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2 months ago

alone, answer, aspiration, child, childhood, grow, grow up, humor, i, left, question, right, wanted
Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

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2 months ago

believe, diamond, Earth, hardest, hardest substance, head, humor, husband, people, reality, relationship, stubborn, substance
If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

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2 months ago

communication, date, expectations, held, humor, i, men, only, pick, plans, power, relationships, reservation, reservations, uncertainty, whatever
Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

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5 months ago

actually, allowed, boundary, excuse, humor, i, just, love, myself, rule, rules, self-control, sorry
After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

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2 months ago

frustration, hour, humor, meeting, motivation, player, sarcasm, team, team meeting, team player, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Seen just now on Slack:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Going viral on Facebook:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Going viral on Instagram:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Spotted on Telegram:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Broadcasted on Discord:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Just shared via Discord:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨