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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Going viral on WeChat:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Spotted on Messenger:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Just shared via YouTube:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Trending via Instagram:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Just shared via Messenger:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

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My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.
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Commentary:
"Who needs the gym when you can just dazzle the audience with some magic tricks? 🎩✨🔮 Also, if you ever need a shortcut to shedding those extra pounds, just grab a magician! 🎩🔪💫"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

44 shares on Threads this month:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Trending via Telegram:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Spotted on Twitch:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

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