Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs the gym when you can just dazzle the audience with some magic tricks? 🎩✨🔮 Also, if you ever need a shortcut to shedding those extra pounds, just grab a magician! 🎩🔪💫"

fitness, getting, goal, goal weight, half, humor, illusion, magician, me, saw, trick, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

0

2 months ago

asteroid, back, bruce, Bruce Willis, fiction, humor, i, ID, irony, movie, movie reference, reference, saving, science, science fiction, stop, time, time travel, travel, willis
People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

0

2 months ago

cheese, choice, food, happiness, humor, life, people, sadness, simple, simple life
“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

0

2 months ago

buddy, confidence, even, got, humor, i, irony, milk, sarcasm, self-deprecation, self-esteem
Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

0

2 months ago

being, child, childhood, commercials, complaints, course, give, humor, money, satire, terrible, time, watch, whole
My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

0

4 weeks ago

AI, angel, app, apps, bad, bad luck, betting, distraction, generative, generative AI, guardian, guardian angel, happen, humor, letting, luck, me, sports, sports betting, technology, things, why
Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

0

2 months ago

911, activity, calling, dancing, emergency, fine, fun, fun activity, humor, me, plea, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Slack this month:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

16 shares on X this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

14 shares on Slack this month:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

27 shares on X this month:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Breaking via Threads:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Seen just now on Threads:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Just shared via Facebook:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Just landed via Twitch:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Breaking via Telegram:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Just shared via WeChat:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨