Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the ol' paycheck security system – because who needs alarms when you can scare burglars away with your financial struggles? 💸🚨 Who needs ADT when you've got A Dollar a day Tape? 😂 #SecurityOnABudget"

door, front, front door, home, home security, humor, joke, just, money, paycheck, security, system

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

1 month ago
humor, idiot, posts, realization, realize, self-deprecation, sense, start, understanding
Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

1 month ago
amusement, entertainment, funnier, humor, joke, laughs, laughter
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

2 months ago
awesomeness, back, confidence, humor, i, intimidate, personality, self-deprecation, shy
Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

1 month ago
affect, confusion, effect, Googling, grammar, humor, incognito, internet, search, vs, window
Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

1 month ago
apple, apples, beer, beers, couple, dead, drinking, feeding, game, gaming, getting, horse, humor, just, petting, red, Red Dead Redemption, redemption, relaxation, video, video game
Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

1 month ago
affection, angel, compliment, digital, digital interaction, equivalent, forehead, humor, interaction, kindness, kissing, liking, me, media, post, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Spotted on Slack:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Just landed via TikTok:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Shared recently on X:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

I need a long hot meteor shower.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏