Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like Mr. Forgetful Strikes Again! 👨‍🦲 Hopefully, he'll eventually get the point and stop playing hide-and-tweeze with your tools! 🤣"

borrowing, chin, chin hair, hair, humor, husband, losing, naming, relationship, tweezers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

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2 months ago

day, humor, missing, relaxation, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend, wish
Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

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2 months ago

best, dining, forgetfulness, forgot, glasses, hoping, humor, menu, mishap, pointing, random, spot
My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

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2 months ago

communication, conversation, humor, i, listen, misunderstanding, relationship, single, start, surprise, taken, weird, wife, word
Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

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2 months ago

48, 48 hours, care, challenge, deodorant, hours, humor, hygiene, just, mean, personal, personal care, smell
You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

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2 months ago

attitude, cat, humor, independence, me, pet, rebellion, sarcasm, tell
Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

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2 months ago

apps, choice, convicted, convicted felon, dating, dating life, felon, guy, having, humor, life, old, old guy, perfect, relationships

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

21 shares on Threads this month:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

16 shares on Slack this month:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Going viral on Facebook:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Going viral on Reddit:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Live now on X:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Spotted on Instagram:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Just shared via Reddit:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨