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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2018 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,180

Funny Quotes Topics

14,936

Funny Quotes Images

12,180

3 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Making waves on Threads:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Going viral on Slack:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Breaking via WeChat:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Just shared via Discord:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Just shared via Slack:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Making waves on Telegram:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

6 months ago

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive big bag of money in the woods 🌳💰 The ultimate treasure hunt for aspiring financial wizards! Who needs a glass ceiling when you can have a leafy canopy overhead? Here's to forging your own path to fiscal fortune, one forest escapade at a time! 🌲🔍 #MoneyTrees #ForestRiches"

adventure, aspiration, bag, big, career, goal, humor, main, moment, money, treasure, woods

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2018 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,180

Funny Quotes Topics

14,936

Funny Quotes Images

12,180

3 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Just landed via Threads:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Trending via Snapchat:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Spotted on Slack:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Just landed via Instagram:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Spotted on Twitch:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Spotted on X:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

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