My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from has copied:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

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Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from has copied:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

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If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from has shared:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

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Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from has downloaded:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

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I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from has downloaded:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.