My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

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Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

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Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

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Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

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It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

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Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

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“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

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Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

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The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

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Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

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I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.