My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.