Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.