Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like you've got the ultimate winter survival strategy – move over bears, there's a new hibernator in town! 🐻🍔 #HibernateAndChill"

diet, fat, food, hibernate, humor, lifestyle, live, loss, new, plan, weight, weight loss

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

0

2 months ago

activity, catch, catch up, humor, i, irony, jail, need, reading, time
Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

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2 months ago

ad, advertising, confusion, humor, irony, me, modern, thing, watching
Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

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5 months ago

bored, boredom, creativity, food, humor, imagine, invention, mayonnaise, person
When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

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2 months ago

blocked, blocking, digital, digital life, good, humor, i, life, list, media, mood, prisoners, release, social, social media
I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

0

2 months ago

attraction, buysexual, date, food, humor, i, joke, me, relationship
It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

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3 months ago

expectation, expectations, humor, Monday, motivation, please, sarcasm, voice, workweek

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on X this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

71 shares on Slack this month:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

47 shares on Threads this month:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

72 shares on Discord this month:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

73 shares on Threads this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

26 shares on Slack this month:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Going viral on Telegram:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Just shared via WeChat:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨