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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Trending via Reddit:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Spotted on WeChat:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Going bananas on Discord:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Going viral on Facebook:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Live now on Slack:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

My nickname in high school was “who?”

1 week ago

Playful quote about being forgettable with a humorous twist on high school nicknames.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you were the mysterious enigma of your high school days! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe you were so multi-faceted, people couldn't quite pinpoint who you really were! Or maybe they just needed a hearing aid? 🤷‍♂️ Either way, owning the nickname "Who?" definitely adds a touch of intrigue to your teenage years!

high, high school, humor, identity, memory, nickname, school, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a break from me.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

83 shares on Discord this month:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

58 shares on X this month:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Killing me softly with his schlong.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Shared recently on Discord:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Making waves on Reddit:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Live now on TikTok:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Live now on Threads:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Live now on YouTube:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

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