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"Who needs a spa day when you can have all the guacamole and margaritas your heart desires at a Mexican restaurant? 💃🌮🍹 It's a fiesta for the soul! #TacoTuesdayEveryday"

activity, food, going, humor, just, mexican, Mexican restaurant, relaxation, restaurant, restaurants, routine, self-care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

1 month ago
challenge, humor, irony, kill, life, motivation, resilience, still, struggle, survival, trying, whatever
Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

1 month ago
daily, daily routine, everyday, everyday life, food, fridge, humor, humor quote, life, routine, snack
Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

2 months ago
being, enjoying, here, humor, i, last, late, management, minutes, not being, procrastination, sorry, time, time management
I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

3 months ago
attitude, clue, cluelessness, confidence, doing, good, humor, pretty, self-deprecating, someone
A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

1 month ago
away, big, countertops, daily, daily life, home, humor, job, life, moving, parent, parenting, responsibility, safety, things
The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

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Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

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Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

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I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

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Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

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I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Trending via TikTok:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Going bananas on Slack:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Just landed via Reddit:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Going bananas on Reddit:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Just landed via TikTok:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

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Activity Log ✨

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

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My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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