Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.
  • Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.
  • One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.
  • I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.
  • Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.
  • I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.