Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,781

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Trending via Slack:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Just landed via Facebook:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Breaking via TikTok:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Trending via X:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about a parent jokingly blaming themselves for tween's social struggles, humorously relatable.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Parenting Skills 101 now includes mastering the art of speaking 'tween'! 🚨👩‍🏫 Turns out, being 'lit yo' isn't as easy as it sounds! 🔥😂 Watch out, world – the sus and cringe police are on duty! 🕵️‍♂️🚫 Life as a parent just got extra spicy! 🌶️👪 #ParentingAdvent

communication, cringe, humor, i, life, lit, parenting, slang, stop, super, sus, teenager, tween

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Threads this month:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

49 shares on Twitch this month:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

66 shares on X this month:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

13 shares on Slack this month:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

28 shares on X this month:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Shared recently on Discord:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Just landed via Instagram:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Trending via X:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My middle finger salutes you.

Just shared via TikTok:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Just landed via Slack:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

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