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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Breaking via Slack:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Live now on Reddit:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Witty quote about social media drama and silent observers, with a playful, humorous vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Isn't it funny how the silent spectators are always the first ones to tune into our drama-filled life updates? 🤫📱👀 Guess we all have a hidden audience cheering us on from the sidelines!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

All roads lead to disappointment.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

17 shares on X this month:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Shared recently on Reddit:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Trending via Instagram:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Breaking via Discord:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Shared recently on Discord:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

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