Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.
  • Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.
  • Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.
  • If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.
  • Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.
  • Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.