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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

43 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Just landed via Threads:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Shared recently on Discord:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Seen just now on Threads:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

5 months ago

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew dressing a toddler for the snow was a part-time job with its own delivery schedule? ⏳❄️ Just add it to the list of 'skills required for parenting' along with negotiation tactics and advanced snack hiding techniques! 😂👶 #ToddlerSnowFashionista"

12, business, business days, days, humor, me, nobody, outfit, parenting, preparation, put, snow, snow outfit, struggle, toddler, told, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

43 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Reported on Facebook:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Just landed via YouTube:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Trending via Facebook:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Just shared via X:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Trending via X:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Making waves on X:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

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