Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Oh, the kingly art of choosing the slowest checkout line—truly a Jedi master level skill! 💁‍♂️⏳ May your patience be everlasting, and your groceries never wilt in the wait! 🛒😅 #ChampionOfCheckoutChaos"

always, brag, checkout, checkout line, funny observation, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, line, moving, observation, pick, shopping, slow, store

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

0

2 months ago

adorable, bear, cute, humor, idiot, kind, kindness, okay, Panda, personality, proof, super
To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, context, dumpster, fair, fire, humor, irony, places, safety
My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

0

2 months ago

body, discomfort, early, hard, hard pants, having, humor, morning, pants, shock, wake, wake up, wear
At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

0

1 month ago

future, humor, illness, just, procrastination, skip, sore, sore throat, throat, time, time travel, travel
The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

0

1 month ago

activity, building, culture, drinking, exercise, fun, happy, happy hour, hour, i, office, office culture, only, team, team building, work, working
I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

0

1 month ago

awareness, check, humor, idea, life, life update, marriage, married, media, reality, reality check, relationship, social, social media, surprise, update, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

80 shares on Messenger this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Shared recently on Discord:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Just shared via Twitch:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨