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Commentary:
"Who needs invisibility when you've got impeccable tripping skills, right? 💁‍♂️🤷‍♀️ Watch out, sidewalks and air particles, nothing can escape my klutzy charm! 🚶‍♂️🚫🤪"

absent, absent things, brag, clumsiness, humor, i, joke, over, self-deprecation, things, trip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

0

2 months ago

college, college education, education, expectation, financial, financial investment, humor, investment, irony, life, not get, pay, person, student, student life
Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

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2 months ago

conversation, hearing, humor, right, self-reflection, therapist, therapy
Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

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2 months ago

discussion, group, group therapy, humor, licensed, media, online, online discussion, social, social media, therapy, Twitter, yelling
Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

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3 months ago

after, call, chicken, dating, digger, expectation, gold, gold digger, honey, humor, man, meal, men, pay, piece, stereotype, us, woman, yacht
Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

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2 months ago

anything, around, attraction, confidence, distraction, flirtation, grocery, grocery store, hot, humor, i, men, reach, self-awareness, store, weird
Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

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2 months ago

AirPod, AirPods, am, dropped, everyday, everyday problem, everything, frustration, God, help, humor, i, item, lost, lost item, me, only, please, prayer, problem, technology, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Twitch this month:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

30 shares on X this month:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

96 shares on X this month:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Just shared via Facebook:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Just landed via Discord:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Making waves on Messenger:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Shared recently on X:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨