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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Live now on YouTube:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Going viral on Slack:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Live now on TikTok:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Live now on Instagram:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Making waves on Slack:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Trending via Instagram:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

0
Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out when a Roomba spots a charger cord – it's like spotting a buffet in the desert 🌵🔌! You'll see that vacuum zoom like it just heard the dinner bell 🔔🤖! Nothing can stop the hunger of a charging Roomba, not even your carefully placed furniture 🛋️😂!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

37 shares on X this month:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

50 shares on Twitch this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

72 shares on Twitch this month:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,386

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Spotted on Instagram:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Going viral on Reddit:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Just landed via Telegram:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Going viral on Discord:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

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