Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
“November 31st – the day when procrastination meets wishful thinking and rent remains unpaid! 🤣 Who needs an extra day in November just to avoid those pesky bills? 🗓️💸 #November31stLogic”

31st, calendar, day, humor, i, just, me, November, pay, procrastination, real, rent, should, sounds, tomorrow, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

0

2 months ago

culture, ear, ghost, Hee-Hee, hope, humor, i, jackson, michael, Michael Jackson, music, pop, pop culture, sleep, spooky
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

0

2 months ago

awkward, childhood, confidence, ever, freak, girl, grow, humor, i, ID, little, quirky, self-identity, weird
Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

0

2 months ago

actually, being, cherry, cherry on top, confidence, ever, genius, girl, humor, just, love, self, self-love, sexy, sweet, sweet girl, sweetest, top
My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

0

4 days ago

before, boss, coffee, coffee shop, complaint, denied, hear, humor, me, music, never, raise, shift, shop, today, wanted, work
I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

0

2 months ago

bed, coffee, daily, daily life, day, enough, humor, i, laziness, life, morning, morning routine, relaxation, routine, simple, simple life, start, start of day, think, woke
It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

0

4 months ago

cake, cauliflower, content, harmful, harmful content, humor, i, internet, job, joke, just, police, policing, post, recipe, report, saw, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

54 shares on X this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

65 shares on WeChat this month:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Seen just now on Threads:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Just shared via TikTok:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Just landed via Discord:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Going viral on Reddit:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨