Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Just landed via Telegram:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Going viral on WeChat:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Going bananas on Slack:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Spreading quickly via X:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Going viral on Telegram:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

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Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "Oh sure, your crush is definitely going to leave their spouse for you, just like rainbows are made of cotton candy and unicorns pay taxes! 🌈🦄 That's how delusions work, my friend. Embrace the fantasy, but maybe keep a grip on reality too!" 😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Reddit this month:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

76 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

A selfie only a mother could like.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Spotted on Telegram:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Just shared via Slack:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Going viral on Discord:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Making waves on Facebook:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Breaking via TikTok:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

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