Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Trending via Instagram:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Trending via Reddit:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Just landed via Messenger:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Going viral on Facebook:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

0
Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Local citizen scraps life goals, opts for Kardashian royalty instead 👑💍 Can't beat 'em, might as well join 'em, right? Get ready for the glam squad and paparazzi, it's showtime, baby! 📸💃 #KardashianForLife"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on X this month:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

32 shares on TikTok this month:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Going viral on Threads:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Live now on Reddit:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Just landed via X:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Trending via Telegram:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Seen just now on WeChat:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴