Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Live now on Threads:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Making waves on TikTok:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Just landed via Reddit:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Live now on X:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Trending via Snapchat:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Spotted on Telegram:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a good memory when you can just forget about all the things that make you unhappy? Maybe that's the key to eternal bliss – just keep forgetting all the bad stuff!"

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Reported on Slack:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Just landed via YouTube:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Going viral on Facebook:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Trending via Twitch:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴