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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal truths of life: death will come knocking, and Princess Diana's radiant face will always grace the magazine aisles, reigning supreme! 👑💀📰 #ForeverRoyal"

certainty, death, face, grocery, grocery store, humor, magazine, Princess Diana, store, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

0

2 months ago

actually, alcohol, drug, enhancement, expectations, humor, irony, performance
I would prefer not to.

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2 months ago

humor, i, indifference, preference, procrastination, refusal
My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

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4 months ago

deserve, humor, i, irony, relaxation, self-awareness, still, thinking, toxic, toxic trait, trait, travel, vacation, while
Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

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2 months ago

day, Friday, humor, just, proof, Sunday, time, time travel, travel, weekend
Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

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2 months ago

better, better you than me, communication, complaining, everything, humor, keep, me, normalize, people, perspective, sarcasm, saying
People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

0

2 months ago

activity, allowed, early, early leave, entertainment, fun, fun activity, leave, movie, people, personal, personal time, policy, should, time, time off, want, work, workplace, workplace policy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

28 shares on X this month:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

73 shares on X this month:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

53 shares on X this month:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

65 shares on Threads this month:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Trending via Twitch:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Making waves on X:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Just landed via Instagram:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Making waves on Discord:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

I would prefer not to.

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨