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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Jan 6, 2026

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Just landed via X:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Going viral on Slack:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Trending via X:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Live now on TikTok:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Making waves on Messenger:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just shared via Reddit:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

2 months ago

0

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise words of the great philosopher, Mr. Procrastination! 🤷‍♂️ Indeed, who knew that 'doing nothing' could be a full-time job? 😂 Embracing the art of relaxation or just avoiding responsibilities? You decide! 🛋️ #MasterOfInactivity"

day, every, every day, humor, i, impossible, lifestyle, nothing, people, procrastination

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

0

2 months ago

corner, hatred, imagine, just, losing, me, religion, sitting, spotlight
Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

0

4 days ago

Alexa, assistant, forgetfulness, humor, i, me, memory, remind, reminder, room, smart, smart assistant, why
I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

0

2 months ago

dumb, dumb nonsense, dumbest, else, ever, fall, groupthink, humor, i, individuality, irony, never, nonsense, opinion, opinions, perfectly, unique, unique opinion, victim
Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

0

2 months ago

app, challenge, dating, difficulty, humor, level, love, online, online dating, option, relationship, search, searching, settings, turn
Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

0

2 months ago

admit, doze, doze off, humor, men, sleep, stereotype, wakefulness, why, wrong
If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

0

2 months ago

attack, bright, bright side, eat, ever, good, humor, just, let, occurrence, positivity, rare, rare occurrence, shark, side, special, sport, survival

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Slack this month:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

74 shares on X this month:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Live now on YouTube:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Spotted on YouTube:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Spotted on Twitch:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Going viral on X:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Seen just now on Threads:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

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