Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Rise and shine, early birds! 🌞⏰ Let's make time for both coffee and a healthy serving of my BS – it's the most important meal of the day! 🤣☕ #MorningBanter"

bullshit, earlier, hour, humor, morning, morning routine, people, priorities, routine, sarcasm, say, should, time, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

0

20 hours ago

calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law
I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

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2 months ago

bow, etiquette, hands, handshake, humor, kneel, not shaking, shaking
Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

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2 months ago

activity, days, exhaustion, extreme, extreme sport, going, going out, humor, life, row, should, social, social life, sport, weekend
You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

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1 month ago

humor, me, mistake, misunderstanding, self-awareness, someone, stupid, witty
I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

0

2 months ago

bad, chocolate, diet, eating, giving, giving up, humor, month, punctuation, sorry
The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

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1 month ago

adulthood, challenge, daily, daily routine, day, decision, decision making, eat, eating, every, humor, life, life struggle, making, real, routine, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Twitch this month:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

83 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

47 shares on Slack this month:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Starting a new life today, bye.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Making waves on Messenger:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨