Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Handle me with care, I crumble like a Nature Valley bar! 🍪😅 Just a gentle touch is all I need…and maybe a few extra chocolate chips to keep me together!"

bar, built, delicate, food, fragility, humor, me, nature, Nature Valley, snack, valley, vulnerability

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

0

2 months ago

contact, dog, emergency, emergency contact, humor, i, loneliness, me, neighbor, neighbors, put, relationship, single
I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

0

2 months ago

eat, exam, humor, i, means, paper, pass, pretty, school, soon, student, test
A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

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2 months ago

act, acting, adult, adults, babysitter, fun, irony, night, night out, responsibility, teenager
Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bathrooms, family, finish, full, home, house, humor, internet, just, life, life tip, patience, prank, someone, tip, turn, waiting, wifi
Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

0

2 months ago

good, greeting, humor, morning, personality, sarcastic, sunshine, wit
I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

0

2 months ago

comfort, decide, decision, fashion, fullest, fun, humor, i, irony, life, lifestyle, living, pajamas, people, personality, public, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Making waves on WeChat:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Shared recently on X:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Going viral on Instagram:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Trending via WeChat:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨