Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Who knew relationships could come with a syllabus? 📚🤓 Maybe it's time to apply for that 'Advanced heartbreak' course and earn yourself a PhD in Dating Drama! 😂 #RelationshipScholar"

advice, dating, humor, lesson, relationship, relationships, scholar

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

0

2 months ago

breathing, breathing competition, call, communication, competition, humor, interaction, me, number, numbers, patience, phone, phone call, sarcasm, social, social interaction, talk, unknown, unknown number, waiting, welcome
My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

0

1 month ago

accidental, available, book, casual, coffee, coffee table, humor, media, new, novelty, pre-order, screenshot, screenshots, social, social media, table, tech
Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

0

1 month ago

chop, chopping, cooking, crispy, delicious, food, foreplay, great, humor, i, joke, oven, peel, peeling, pieces, roast, roasting, where
Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

0

2 months ago

appointment, before, care, cramming, day, dental, dental care, dentist, floss, history, humor, i, procrastination, test
By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

0

2 months ago

date, humor, i, irony, meet, person, relationship, right, self-deprecation, time, timing, wrong
The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

0

2 months ago

charge, days, fat, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, remind, reminder, technology, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

21 shares on Threads this month:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

83 shares on Discord this month:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Just landed via Discord:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Live now on Telegram:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Going bananas on Slack:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Just landed via X:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Spotted on Slack:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨