Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.
  • Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.
  • I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.
  • Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.
  • One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.
  • I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.