Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2534 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,696

Funny Quotes Topics

15,358

Funny Quotes Images

12,696

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Breaking via YouTube:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Just shared via YouTube:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Spotted on Reddit:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Promising not to spill the tea, unless my hubby is listening! 🤫📖 Who needs a diary when you have a live journal at home, am I right? 😂 #MarriageSecrets"

, , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2534 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,696

Funny Quotes Topics

15,358

Funny Quotes Images

12,696

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Just shared via Threads:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Just landed via YouTube:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Just shared via Slack:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Broadcasted on X:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Spotted on Messenger:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴