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Commentary:
"Who knew proverbs could be so judgmental about our waking habits? 🐛😂 Maybe it's time for some updated wisdom: 'Early bird catches the worm, but the late risers get brunch instead!' 🕰️🍳"

deserve, expectations, humor, i, mean, morning, proverb, sarcasm, sleep, time, waking, waking up, woke, worm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

0

2 months ago

asked, boss, communication, effort, employees, everyone, humor, keep, me, morale, motivated, motivation, office, stop, stop talking, talking, workplace
I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

0

2 months ago

am, days, disgust, disgusted, even, expectation, humor, i, irony, Netflix, nudity, payment
I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

0

2 months ago

always, corrected, footwear, humor, i, misconception, orthopaedic, orthopaedic shoe, pun, shoe, stand, thought
Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

0

2 months ago

art, beauty, body, butt, human, human butt, humor, natural, natural beauty, nature, sometimes, tree, trees, waterfall
How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, came, coke, creativity, guy, humor, mutant, ninja, teenage, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, turtles
Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

0

2 months ago

bermuda, Bermuda Triangle, current, current events, disappear, events, humor, irony, just, much, mystery, news, too, triangle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨