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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

291 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,560

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,560

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Just landed via Twitch:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Seen just now on Discord:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Spotted on Discord:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Live now on Facebook:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Trending via Messenger:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is looking for a more 'hands-on' approach to self-care. 🤪🛠️ Maybe a little fresh air and sunshine would do the trick too! ☀️ Just be sure to leave the shovels for gardening, not self-improvement projects!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

32 shares on Discord this month:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

59 shares on X this month:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

291 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,560

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,560

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Live now on WeChat:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Just landed via TikTok:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Shared recently on YouTube:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Live now on Messenger:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Live now on X:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

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