Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Spotted on Facebook:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Just landed via Reddit:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Going bananas on X:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Live now on Threads:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Trending via Threads:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Your opinions are not my business.

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

2 weeks ago

Humorous and dark text expressing frustration with mental health struggles.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is looking for a more 'hands-on' approach to self-care. 🤪🛠️ Maybe a little fresh air and sunshine would do the trick too! ☀️ Just be sure to leave the shovels for gardening, not self-improvement projects!"

absurdity, coping, enough, exaggeration, health, hit, humor, me, meds, mental, mental health, psych, psych meds, shovel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Just landed via X:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Going viral on Messenger:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Live now on Instagram:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Going viral on Discord:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Spotted on TikTok:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

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