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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

20 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Reported on Pinterest:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Trending via Discord:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Live now on Facebook:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Going viral on Instagram:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Just landed via WeChat:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Breaking via Slack:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Going viral on Reddit:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Just shared via X:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

6 months ago

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is looking for a more 'hands-on' approach to self-care. 🤪🛠️ Maybe a little fresh air and sunshine would do the trick too! ☀️ Just be sure to leave the shovels for gardening, not self-improvement projects!"

absurdity, coping, enough, exaggeration, health, hit, humor, me, meds, mental, mental health, psych, psych meds, shovel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

20 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Reported on Discord:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Just landed via WeChat:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Freshly posted on X:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Going viral on X:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Making waves on TikTok:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

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