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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

291 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,560

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,560

Jan 11, 2026

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Just shared via Snapchat:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Just landed via Discord:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Seen just now on Messenger:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Live now on WeChat:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Trending via Twitch:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

2 months ago

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the simple joys of multi-nostril breathing, a skill reserved for the carefree days of youth! 🌬️😄 Perhaps it's a sign that adulting is getting a bit too stuffy? Just imagine the possibilities if we could still pull off that nostril multitasking feat today! 🤔😂 #NostalgicNostrils

age, breath, breathing, health, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, nostril, once, time, where, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

2 months ago

dare, delay, frustration, hold, humor, irony, journey, me, person, place, presence, time, traffic
Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

3 months ago

actually, anyone, best, confusion, cooking, food, hope, humor, just, know, language, pronounce, pronunciation, sauce, stumble, through, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce, wordplay
“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

2 months ago

always, brain, breasts, convertible, humor, mean, means, topless, wit, wordplay
I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

1 month ago

candy, dark, dark room, eating, humor, i, illegal, irony, liked, me, movie, movie theater, room, seeing, silence, snack, talk, theater, thought, where
That awkward moment between birth and death.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, birth, death, existential, humor, irony, life, moment
“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

2 months ago

asked, away, ChatGPT, conversation, digital, digital interaction, flowers, grok, hours, humor, i, interaction, playful, poetic, well, whimsical, wipe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

291 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,560

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,560

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Just shared via Threads:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Breaking via WeChat:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

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