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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

34 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Spotted on Messenger:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Spotted on Instagram:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Making waves on X:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Going viral on Messenger:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Breaking via WeChat:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Live now on Discord:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

6 months ago

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the simple joys of multi-nostril breathing, a skill reserved for the carefree days of youth! 🌬️😄 Perhaps it's a sign that adulting is getting a bit too stuffy? Just imagine the possibilities if we could still pull off that nostril multitasking feat today! 🤔😂 #NostalgicNostrils

age, breath, breathing, health, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, nostril, once, time, where, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

34 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Trending via X:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Just shared via Reddit:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Making waves on Reddit:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Trending via X:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Just landed via Reddit:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Just shared via TikTok:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

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