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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Seen just now on Threads:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Spotted on YouTube:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Just shared via Facebook:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Show those pesky bedroom demons who's boss by giving them a rent hike! 💸🔥 They'll either shape up or move out to a less assertive dream! 😈🏠 #NightmareLandlord"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Threads this month:

I put the hot in psychotic.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

88 shares on Telegram this month:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

14 shares on Threads this month:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

38 shares on Slack this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

86 shares on Threads this month:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

90 shares on Slack this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Making waves on Slack:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Just landed via Messenger:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Going bananas on Messenger:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

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