Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

Seen just now on Slack:

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Going viral on Instagram:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Just shared via Threads:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Trending via X:

My favorite color is money.

Spotted on Threads:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Live now on Slack:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Clever humorous quote about asserting dominance over imaginary demons under the bed.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Show those pesky bedroom demons who's boss by giving them a rent hike! 💸🔥 They'll either shape up or move out to a less assertive dream! 😈🏠 #NightmareLandlord"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Instagram this month:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

28 shares on X this month:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I love when the plot thickens.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

62 shares on Threads this month:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My middle finger salutes you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,749

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Shared recently on Threads:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Trending via WeChat:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Trending via Pinterest:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

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