Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Just shared via Discord:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Seen just now on Messenger:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Going viral on TikTok:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Just landed via Facebook:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Restaurants be like: 'Live in the moment…but first, here's our QR code for all the digital fun!' 📱🍽️ #IronyAlert #ModernDining"

code, dining, experience, humor, irony, live, menu, moment, phone, put, qr, QR code, restaurant, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

0

2 months ago

clean, cleaning, drama, evidence, feels, humor, i, room, sometimes
“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

0

2 months ago

admission, admit, afraid, bad, bad decision, daily, daily life, decision, example, good, house, humor, i, idea, irony, leave, leaving, leaving house, life, mistake, self-deprecation, terrible, thought, today, wrong
“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

0

5 months ago

always, going, humor, i, lie, morning, myself, procrastination, self-talk, sleep, tell, tonight
Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

0

2 months ago

backfire, fatigue, humor, me, morning, morning struggle, relatable, sleep, struggle, times, waking, waking up
Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

0

2 months ago

budgeting, decisions, expenses, financial, financial decisions, food, grocery, grocery store, humor, hungry, i, month, need, pay, rent, shopping, store
The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

0

2 months ago

attractive, behavior, funny behavior, head, hitting, humor, irony, man, most, own, self-deprecation, stupid, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

27 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Social media may have been a mistake.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

100 shares on Discord this month:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Just landed via Instagram:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Going viral on Messenger:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Trending via Snapchat:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Going viral on Instagram:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨