Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🌹🍕 "Roses are red, pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large, and none of it's for you. Sorry not sorry, it's a pizza party for one! Maybe next time, bring your own slice and join the fun! 🍕🎉 #PizzaLove"

food, humor, i, large, none, pizza, poem, red, relationship, roses, roses are red, sauce, snack, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, everyday, everyday life, house, humor, i, leave, life, people, reactions, sarcasm, social, social anxiety, weather
Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

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2 months ago

conspiracy, here, humor, little, music, psyop, relationship, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, tunes, wife
I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, channel, comedy, entertainment, humor, planet, pretty, satire, self-awareness, sure
Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

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2 months ago

dad, energy, environmentalist, humor, i, lights, me, parenting, people, responsibility, turn, waste, yell
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

0

2 months ago

boss, every, humor, joke, me, paycheck, presentation, salary, start, work, work humor, workplace
When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

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2 months ago

disturb, do not disturb, enter, even, great, hour, humor, i, interruption, me, mind, mind palace, oh, okay, palace, pardon, philosopher, precious, privacy, realize, sarcasm, seclusion, solitude, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

58 shares on X this month:

Sane is boring.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

28 shares on Slack this month:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Seen just now on X:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Freshly posted on X:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Making waves on Slack:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Making waves on Instagram:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨