Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

27 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Breaking via Threads:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Seen just now on X:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Seen just now on Discord:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Just shared via TikTok:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Making waves on Reddit:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

5 months ago

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, therapy wasted on a shampoo promise! 🤦‍♂️ Maybe it's time for a "clarify shampoo" for those misleading products. 🧴💔 Remember, it's all about managing expectations—both for your hair and your mental health! 😆✂️

cancelled, clarity, clearer, damage, expectations, humor, i, irony, need, nothing, repairs, say, self-care, shampoo, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

27 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Due to foreseen circumstances, well within my control, I will be late.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Trending via TikTok:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Going viral on Messenger:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Spotted on TikTok:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Making waves on WeChat:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Just landed via Reddit:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

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