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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Just shared via WeChat:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Shared recently on WeChat:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Making waves on YouTube:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Making waves on Instagram:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Going viral on X:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I run a parody bank account.

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

0
Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.
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Commentary:
Oh no, therapy wasted on a shampoo promise! 🤦‍♂️ Maybe it's time for a "clarify shampoo" for those misleading products. 🧴💔 Remember, it's all about managing expectations—both for your hair and your mental health! 😆✂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

38 shares on X this month:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,286

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Going viral on Reddit:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Just landed via Threads:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Going viral on Instagram:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Just shared via Telegram:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Live now on Snapchat:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Spotted on YouTube:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Spotted on Reddit:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

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