Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Seen just now on Discord:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Spotted on Facebook:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Trending via Messenger:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Just shared via TikTok:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Going bananas on X:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Trending via Reddit:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

0
So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least he's self-aware! Who needs to excel at everything when you can excel at being bad, right?"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

65 shares on Twitch this month:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

20 shares on Threads this month:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy the time between diapers!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Spotted on Snapchat:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Trending via YouTube:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Going viral on Telegram:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Just landed via Slack:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴