Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.
  • The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.
  • Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.
  • If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.
  • A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”
  • Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.