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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Spotted on Telegram:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Just shared via Threads:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Going viral on WeChat:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

4 weeks ago

Witty text about honesty and drunken confessions, with a humorous, playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of keeping your lips sealed… until the liquid courage kicks in! 🍷🙊 Why do we always give in to the temptation to spill the tea when our inhibitions are floating away with each sip? It's like our mouths have a secret pact with alcohol to air out all the forbidden thoughts! 🤭💬 Next time you feel the urge to share a little too much, just blame it on the spirits – both the liquid kind and the

alcohol, better, drunk, fun, honesty, humor, left, people, social, things, unsaid

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Reddit this month:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

64 shares on Discord this month:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Just shared via Slack:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Seen just now on TikTok:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Just shared via YouTube:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

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