Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Breaking via Threads:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Trending via Snapchat:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Spotted on WeChat:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Just shared via Slack:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Going viral on Telegram:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to emotion like a proper human: a work in progress since forever. 🤖😅 #Humaning101"

emotion, human, learn, learning, proper, someday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

0

2 months ago

alarm, day, first day, important, kids, parenting, remember, reminder, responsibility, school
Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

0

3 months ago

call, cold, hot, i, just, me, mood, mood swing, mother, Mother Nature, nature, period, swing, temperature, too, weather
I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

0

2 months ago

clove, cooking, fresh, frustration, garlic, hate, humor, i, little, paperwork
God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

0

2 months ago

fate, God, gods, humor, life, me, plan, super, weird
Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

0

2 months ago

galaxy, guard, guardian, Guardian of the Galaxy, guards, humor, movie, movie reference, pun, reference, retail, retail security, samsung, Samsung store, security, security guard, store, superhero
Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

0

2 months ago

consumerism, dollar, dollar store, feel, humor, irony, me, poor, rich, same, self-esteem, shopping, store, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

68 shares on Discord this month:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Breaking via WeChat:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Just shared via Telegram:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨