Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

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Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

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I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

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When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

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Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

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Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

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Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

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Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.