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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

58 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Reported on YouTube:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Live now on Pinterest:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Spotted on X:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My recliner and I go way back.

Going viral on TikTok:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Trending via Facebook:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

6 months ago

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

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Commentary:
Ah, the elusive male guitar player 🎸 They say actions speak louder than words, but apparently not when it comes to rocking out on the six strings! 🎶 Here’s a pro tip: if a guy can play guitar, he will definitely let you know… multiple times 😄🎸 #GuitaristsGonnaGuitar

guitar, humor, lyric, man, music, never, play, relationship, stereotype, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, tell, unrealistic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

58 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Breaking via X:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Seen just now on Threads:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Trending via Telegram:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Aura is the real business card.

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