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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Just shared via X:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Making waves on Slack:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Just landed via YouTube:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about guitar-playing guys being overly boastful, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive male guitar player 🎸 They say actions speak louder than words, but apparently not when it comes to rocking out on the six strings! 🎶 Here’s a pro tip: if a guy can play guitar, he will definitely let you know… multiple times 😄🎸 #GuitaristsGonnaGuitar

guitar, humor, lyric, man, music, never, play, relationship, stereotype, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, tell, unrealistic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Discord this month:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

39 shares on Slack this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Trending via YouTube:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Breaking via Discord:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Just landed via Threads:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Spotted on YouTube:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Going viral on Instagram:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

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