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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My life coach traded me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Trending via Instagram:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Just shared via Slack:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Shared recently on X:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Just landed via Discord:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Spotted on Pinterest:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Shared recently on Discord:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

0
Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, I guess this person is ready to trade in their human problems for eight tentacles worth of multitasking skills! Who needs arms when you can have tentacles, right? Watch out, world, here comes the future octopus graduate – just be sure to give them a hand… or eight!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

90 shares on WeChat this month:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

14 shares on X this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

31 shares on Discord this month:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Talking to the stars because people suck.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Live now on Telegram:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Breaking via YouTube:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Shared recently on Threads:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Just landed via WeChat:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Just shared via Messenger:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Trending via YouTube:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

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