Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.
  • When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.
  • Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  • I got bills. They’re multiplying.
  • I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.
  • I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.