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One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

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“Why donโ€™t you tell us anything anymore?โ€ Iโ€™ve updated my privacy policy.

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Bird flu? Yeah, theyโ€™re known to do that.

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I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

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Unless youโ€™re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

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Friends with consequences.

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I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

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My husband thinks he can just order me around like heโ€™s one of the cats.

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Your twenties are for working towards a life you later wonโ€™t want.

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Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

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The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magic of mobile time dilation! ๐Ÿ•’๐Ÿ˜„ Who knew 10 minutes could stretch into 3 hours of endless scrolling and funny cat videos? ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿฑ Sweet dreams and strong Wi-Fi signals to all!"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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