Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Trending via YouTube:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Making waves on Reddit:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Breaking via X:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Making waves on Twitch:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Trending via X:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

2 months ago

0

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the fabled creatures known as software engineers 🧙‍♂️ Uniquely intelligent or just really good at Googling error messages? 🤔 Their mystical powers have caused mischief indeed, turning everything into binary code and making the rest of us feel like mere mortals in the land of algorithms and bugs! 🤪👾 #WizardsOfTheDigitalRealm"

belief, damage, done, engineer, humor, intelligence, intelligent, irony, society, software, software engineer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

0

2 months ago

baby, ever, job, serious, snitch, work
Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

0

2 months ago

achievement, childhood, childhood trophy, confidence, dominance, humor, nostalgia, playfulness, trophy
At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

0

2 months ago

30, 30s, age, battery, charge, energy, even, exhaustion, hours, humor, me, midday, old, phone
If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

0

2 months ago

1, 2007, day, detox, digital, digital detox, disconnect, humor, nostalgia, outside, phone, realize, still, technology, turn, year
After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult problems, after, being, childhood, dance, disappointment, Disney, good, humor, movy, problems, raised, song
Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

0

2 months ago

betraying, choices, crisis, destroying, existential, existential crisis, humor, life, life choices, nothing, self, twenty, yourself, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

93 shares on TikTok this month:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

50 shares on Threads this month:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

92 shares on X this month:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Making waves on Telegram:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Just landed via Instagram:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Going viral on WeChat:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Going viral on YouTube:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Trending via X:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Spotted on Twitch:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

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