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Commentary:
"Ah, parenting: the ultimate crash course in empathizing with your future self 🤒🤢 Who knew that a stomach bug could double as a crystal ball predicting your own misery? The joys of 'shared suffering' with your little germ factories! 😆👨‍👧‍👦 #ParentingProblems #GrossButTrue"

anticipation, being, best, exactly, feel, going, hours, humor, illness, kids, parenting, reality, sick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

2 months ago

humor, i, life, money, priorities, problems, solution, solve, wealth
That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

1 month ago

caffeine, coffee, coffee maker, daily, every, happiness, happy, joy, little, maker, me, morning, morning ritual, ritual, routine, small, small joy, walk
Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

1 month ago

day, humor, next, optimism, procrastination, seize, suck, sucks
I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

4 months ago

cooking, cooking fail, drank, everything, fail, garbage, hand, hand towel, humor, i, kitchen, literally, over, right, shoulder, towel, understand, while, why, wine
My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

1 month ago

humor, i, me, parents, practice, raise, rude, sarcasm, upbringing, wit
“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

2 weeks ago

comparison, DM, DMs, humor, i, introduction, jealousy, media, music, presence, relationship, same, social, social media, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, through, wrapped

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

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Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

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I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Trending via YouTube:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Seen just now on Discord:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Spotted on WeChat:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

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The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

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The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

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