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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,741

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Shared recently on Threads:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Making waves on Telegram:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Going viral on Instagram:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Making waves on Facebook:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, parenting: the ultimate crash course in empathizing with your future self 🤒🤢 Who knew that a stomach bug could double as a crystal ball predicting your own misery? The joys of 'shared suffering' with your little germ factories! 😆👨‍👧‍👦 #ParentingProblems #GrossButTrue"

anticipation, being, best, exactly, feel, going, hours, humor, illness, kids, parenting, reality, sick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

45 shares on Discord this month:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

30 shares on Threads this month:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

69 shares on X this month:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Spotted on Twitch:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Trending via YouTube:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Just landed via Discord:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Trending via Slack:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Going viral on YouTube:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Going viral on Slack:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

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