Home Funny Quotes The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Funny Quotes September 9, 2024

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It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

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Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

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One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

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“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

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The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

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Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

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I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

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Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

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Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

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Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

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