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Commentary:
Ah, The Cranberries! 🍇🎶 Definitely a case of smoothie-inspired creativity.🥤🤣 Who knew the path to musical success could start with a simple trip to the grocery store?🛒🍒 Keep calm and jam on! 🎸 #FruityGroove

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

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2 months ago

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I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

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2 months ago

afford, cutbacks, employed, employment, financial, financial struggle, hire, humor, i, irony, job, job market, market, me, money, right, self, self employment, self-employed, struggle, thinking
At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

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2 months ago

activity, age, bingo, fun, fun activity, game, meet, meet up, people, play, ready
“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

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2 months ago

billiards, favorite, favorite hole, favourite, game, hole, humor, i, me, playful, playful remark, pool, pool table, remark, sport, table
I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

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2 months ago

construction, doing, good, i, job, know, me, meant, today, walking, yell
I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

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2 months ago

airport, airport security, drug, drugs, example, humor, i, joke, people, sarcasm, security, take

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Slack this month:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

89 shares on X this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

52 shares on Threads this month:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Seen just now on Slack:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Live now on Threads:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨