Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Trending via Snapchat:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Making waves on Messenger:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

0
The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When the playlist drops, but it's a *real* list. 🎶🕺😅 #WhatsInANumber"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on X this month:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Men need women, women need men. The end.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Double chins are better than double faces.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Just landed via Twitch:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Just shared via Reddit:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Broadcasted on X:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Making waves on Instagram:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Trending via Snapchat:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴